


In the Back of a Cop Car

by Ravenhoot



Series: Ill-Fitting Pants (And Other Dire Hideous Clothes) [4]
Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenhoot/pseuds/Ravenhoot
Summary: One summer night when they were teenagers, Kit sneaks out to go on a joy ride with Olaf in his father's car.Takes place BEFORESangriaRated for mild adult language.





	In the Back of a Cop Car

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read the stories of this series in chronological order, they are as follows:
> 
> In the Back of a Cop Car  
> Sangria  
> Auld Lang Syne  
> The Fox and The Count

Olaf huffed impatiently as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. He sat in the driver’s seat and waited. Every few moments, he’d glance in the rearview mirror at the Snicket house a block away. Some of his closest friends lived in that house and at this precise moment, he was waiting for one Snicket in particular to sneak out her bedroom window and creep down the block to his waiting car. The Snicket parents were notorious for having strict curfews for their children, claiming it taught them a firm sense of responsibility. He supposed it was reasonable, but still thought it was stupid. Kit and Jacques were fifteen and Lemony had just turned fourteen. Although having been at boarding school for the past year, Olaf had grown accustomed to coming and going as he pleased. When he returned home for the summer break, his parents put no restrictions on his leisure activities except to impose one rule: that Olaf _not_ , under any circumstances, drive his father’s prized 1958 Corvette. As he sat drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, he gave a hard look at the dashboard and tried not to think about his father’s rage if he found the car missing from the garage.

Summer was in full swing – the warm air was still thick with humidity despite the lateness of the hour. The car was a convertible and despite having the top down and a slight breeze on the wind, the air felt no cooler than it had before the sun had set, especially while the car sat idling.

Just when he thought he’d have to turn the ignition off and go see what the hold up was, he saw a short slender figure trotting toward the car, her honey golden hair bouncing lighting. She had on a sleeveless sundress with a turquoise and purple paisley pattern that stopped an inch or two above her knee. She wore a denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Her neon pink Converse sneakers seemed to glow under the light of the street lamp Olaf was parked underneath. When she reached the car, she inhaled sharply as she reached for the door handle.

“Wow,” she said quietly. “I thought you couldn’t drive this until you turned twenty-one?”

“I’m not supposed to, no.”

“But you’re only…”

“Seventeen. Yep. I’m a rebel.” Olaf said with a devilish grin.

“So I take it he doesn’t know you have it?” She inquired, her hand hovering over the door handle. 

“You are correct. But come on, little fox, get in. It’s hot as hades. The sooner we get out of the city and on open roads, the better.”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” She slid into the passenger seat and closed the door. The car was immaculate. She almost felt afraid to touch anything. 

“Nope,” Olaf answered simply.

Kit Snicket made an unconvincing sound of disgust. “I snuck out after curfew, for the first time in my life I might add. The least you could do is tell me _where_ we’re going.”

“For an adventure! Don't ask so many questions!”

“Fine. Be mysterious,” Kit said as she stuck her tongue out at him.

Olaf chuckled as he pulled away from the curb. He drove as modestly as he could through the city, trying to keep the engine as quiet as possible. While they ambled through the city, Olaf told her about some of the things he’d done at school the previous year.

Olaf and Kit had met the previous Christmas when he’d shown up unexpectedly with Kit’s brother after being expelled from Prufrock Preparatory School. They’d become fast friends, a phrase which here means they had talked to one another almost constantly and in just eight short months had come to feel like they’d known each other all their lives.

Since he’d come home for the summer, he had been spending as much time outside the house as possible. Things were still tense with his father, the count, but fortunately, he was always welcome for dinner at the Snicket house. He had been spending more and more time with Kit and her brothers. The four of them had met for brunch earlier that day, as they had every Saturday since the school year had ended. After brunch, Kit and her brothers were planning to visit the aquarium and see a movie. After they paid their bill at the cafe and stepped out onto the sidewalk, Olaf had pulled her aside.

“I found something on the outskirts of town you have _got_ to see,” he told her.

“Okay... if I skip the aquarium, I'll have about two hours before the movie. Shall we go?”

“No no. You won’t be able to see it properly until after dark.”

“But, it's the middle of the summer. It doesn't get dark until at least nine and you know my parents have that ridiculous curfew…”

Olaf's face had fallen. "Oh, yeah. I forgot..."

He'd looked so disappointed, Kit had made the suggestion before she even considered the implications. "I could try to sneak out?"

An impish grin spread across Olaf's face. "When do your parents go to sleep?"

"Around eleven or so."

"I'll pick you up at midnight."

"Park down the street a little so they don't see your car."

So that was how she came to be sitting in the passenger seat of Count Crivelli’s prized Corvette, currently driven by his son, the viscount. Once they got outside the city, Olaf drove more boldly, testing the limits of the vehicle's power. Now that they were moving faster than they could in the city, the night air felt cooler and it whipped Kit’s hair around wildly. Olaf switched the radio on and surfed the channels until settling on something upbeat and fun to dance to. Obviously, he couldn’t dance since he was driving, but the music made him want to drive faster. Despite only knowing about half the words, Kit insisted on singing along as loudly as she could.

When the song ended, Kit cleared her throat and said, “Just so you know… Jacques knows.”

“Kit!” Olaf said exasperatedly.

“He halfway overheard you this morning and caught me trying to sneak out! I had to tell him something!”

Olaf groaned.

“Don’t worry,” Kit continued. “He helped me sneak out and said he wouldn’t tell anyone. Just be glad it wasn't Lemony.”

A few minutes later, Olaf pulled the car to a stop. It was so dark, Kit couldn’t see anything beyond the space illuminated by the Corvette’s headlights. She pulled a shiny bronze spyglass with several markings around it from her jacket pocket and turned the dials so a soft yellow light emitted from the wide end. Olaf retrieved an identical spyglass from the glove compartment of the car and a grocery bag from behind the seat and caught up with her in three long strides. She let him take the lead since she realized she had no idea where she was going.

It was a clear, quiet summer night. Moving the light from side to side, Kit realized they were at a body of water. When the light passed over a large red and white sign that read “NO TRESPASSING,” Kit lingered for a moment but kept following Olaf.

“We aren’t at the lake, are we?”

“Lachrymose? Not exactly.”

Kit wondered briefly how they could “not exactly” be somewhere until her light illuminated another sign. This one read: NOTICE! ACCESS TO THE DAM IS FOR AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY! Lake Lachrymose wasn’t a naturally existing body of water; it had been created by the building of a dam. Kit and her family had been to the lake several times, but never to the dam.

Olaf glanced at his watch. “Well, we’re quite early. The thing I wanted to show you won’t happen for another hour or so.”

“Olaf… we’re at a dam in the middle of the night. What could possibly happen that was worth driving all the way out here to see?” Kit asked skeptically.

Olaf feigned offense. “Ye of little faith. Just wait and you’ll see.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do for an hour, then?” Kit scoffed.

“So feisty. I brought provisions.” Olaf explained as he held up the grocery bag. Kit grabbed it and peered inside. There was a roll of pepperoni, a block of cheese and several bottles of crème soda.

“Oh, thank you for not getting root beer!” Kit exclaimed.

“Yeah, what is it with your brother’s obsession with the stuff?”

“No idea, but it’s _all_ he drinks!”

“Our drama teacher at Prufrock used to say he was single-minded to the point of recklessness,” Olaf mused.

“That definitely sounds like L,” Kit agreed.

While they snacked, Kit filled Olaf in on the happenings of the city since Christmas. She had opted to go to school within the city so she could still live at home with her brothers. Olaf loved how easy it was to talk to her. Though she was only fifteen, she was fairly mature for her age and unlike all of the rich noblemen’s stuffy children at Wade Academy, she had a sensible head on her shoulders and a witty sense of humor. But she also didn’t take herself too seriously, a fact he’d learned at the VFD New Year’s Eve party when she'd taken the expression "dance like no one is watching" to heart. He smiled at the memory. He'd been sulking after his expulsion from Prufrock Prep and she'd pestered him to dance with her, refusing to take no for an answer.

_BRAAAP!_

Suddenly, a buzzer sounded from the dam, startling Kit so much she dropped her crème soda.

“Oh no. Are we in trouble?” She asked nervously.

“No! This is what I wanted to show you!”

_BRAAAP!_

The buzzer continued several more times until stopping as suddenly as it had started. Kit heard a _whoosh_ as water shot from several aqueducts to relieve the pressure of the dam. There were different colored rotating lights on each of the aqueducts and as the water crashed over them, the lights appeared to blend together into a stunning mixture of red, yellow, and green. To Kit, they resembled the northern lights seen in North America. She’d heard so many stories about them but never had the chance to see them herself.

“Oh wow!” Kit exclaimed. “That’s amazing!”

“Told you it was worth seeing,” Olaf remarked quietly.

“How did you even know about this?”

“I was down here with a few of the guys from my training cohort. Ike's stupid truck broke down and it was too late to call for a tow truck. Monty volunteered to walk and find a phone, so Ike and I stayed with the truck. Then this,” he said gesturing to the raging water and dancing lights, “happened around 2 am.”

“It’s… so beautiful,” Kit whispered. Olaf was watching her watch the lights dance through the water.

“Hmm. Sure is,” Olaf surmised. “I knew you’d like it.”

The rush of water had slowed but the lights remained on. Olaf continued to watch her as she watched the dam. Something stirred within him. Something he didn’t quite recognize. It was as if he was seeing Kit differently than he had before. The longer he watched her, the more intense the feeling grew. He felt as if someone was squeezing his stomach with a closed fist. He swallowed deeply and tried to suppress the sudden urge to kiss her. Suddenly, blue lights flashed from behind them, reflecting off the surface of the water.

“Uh, Olaf… five-oh,” Kit grumbled. Olaf spun around to see two police officers walking toward them from the patrol car. Olaf squeezed her hand gently to try and reassure her.

 _Well, ain't this some shit. Her father is going to kill me_ , he thought. 

“Officers,” Olaf said tentatively. “Is there a problem?”

“I should say so, son,” the first officer said. “Don’t tell me you didn’t see the sign that specifically says ‘No Trespassing.’” The officer was tall and muscular with sallow skin and looked like he’d never told a joke in his life.

The other officer was a portly man with a thick black mustache and very little neck.

“We’re sorry. We just came to see the light show," Olaf said as he pointed toward the dam. "We’ll leave right away,” he suggested.

“Not until we figure out who you kids are and why you're trespassing on government property.”

The two officers approached Kit and Olaf and put both of them in handcuffs before Olaf could even say anything else.

“Hey! What the—” Kit declared. “We’re not criminals, why are you treating us like this?!”

Olaf shook his head at her. “It’s fine, little fox.”

“I wouldn’t say that, son,” the first officer said. “This is serious. You both could end up in jail tonight.”

Olaf wasn’t worried about going to jail. His grandfather had told him that being a volunteer meant sooner or later, you’d probably find yourself in jail. It was just the nature of the job but the Crivellis never worried too much. Their family had enough clout in the city that he wouldn’t spend any time in jail. _Kit though,_ Olaf thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“Now you and your little girlfriend just sit tight,” the portly officer said as he put them in the back of the police car.

"She's not my girlfriend," Olaf muttered, turning away from Kit so she wouldn't see him flush.

"That's nice," the officer said dismissively as he closed the door. He pointed to the Corvette and said something to his partner. Olaf assumed they would run the license plate and realize the car belonged to his father. Then they would probably radio back to the police station and it was a matter of time before they put two and two together to realize who Olaf was. He hoped his father's name was enough to secure their immediate release. 

The moment the car door closed and they were alone, Kit started talking a mile a minute.

“This is ridiculous. They act like we broke into some locked-down facility and stole, I don't know, instructions on how to make a nuclear bomb. 'Government property' my ass. It's just the lake. Pompous jerks. Okay, so they’ll have to open the door eventually to talk to us or something, right? I say we run for it.”

“Run for it?! Are you insane? They’d catch us in an instant.”

Kit shrugged, which was difficult to do since her hands were cuffed behind her back. “It’d make one hell of a story though.”

“Oh my god, Kit. I have corrupted you. You were this sweet little innocent thing before you met me. Now you want to run from the cops.”

“Don’t give yourself so much credit. Remember, I’m Jacques’ twin.”

Olaf looked at her incredulously. “Of everything you might have suggested, running is _not_   what I expected.”

“I’ll handle this,” Kit said confidently. For once, she was grateful for being short. She turned around and sat with her knees on the seat, her back facing the window so she could knock on it while handcuffed. 

The sallow-skinned officer creaked the door open slightly. Kit pouted her lips and batted her eyelashes several times.

“Listen, officers, can’t we just forget about this? We didn't mean any harm. It's my fault - I pestered my friend to bring me out here. We’ll go home and not bother you fellas anymore tonight.”

“Miss,” the officer barked, “just sit tight like my partner told you.”

“Well, then do you at least have a light?” Kit asked, holding an invisible cigarette between her fingers. 

Olaf burst out laughing. He didn’t mean to, but he knew Kit didn’t smoke. The officer scowled and slammed the door closed. Kit leaned back in the seat and propped her feet up on the Plexiglas divider that separated the back seats from the front. She looked at Olaf, who was still chuckling. The back of that particular patrol car was cramped, so they were squeezed tight against one another. When she looked at him, her eyes fiery with adventure, Olaf felt the same tightness in his stomach that he had before the police had shown up.

“Okay, well that flopped. So what do we do?” She asked him.

“What do we… Nothing. We do nothing. We’re in handcuffs in the back of a police car, Kit. Your father is going to kill me.”

“Not if he doesn’t find out.”

“Kit, I’m sure they’ve called both our parents by now.”

Kit let out an exaggerated sigh and tapped her foot against the hard plastic. Olaf felt more conflicted than he ever had in his life. He was still worried about them ending up in jail and what Mr. Snicket would do when he found out, but he couldn’t shake the desire to kiss her. She was so fearless. 

 _Don’t be ridiculous,_ he told himself. _You’re just caught up in the commotion of it all. She’s your best friend’s little sister._ Olaf squeezed his eyes closed so tightly, he saw stars. _That’s not entirely true,_ he argued with himself. _She’s more your friend than her brothers are. And don’t lie to yourself. You’ve thought about her like this before. You may not want to admit it, but you have._

Kit yawned and leaned over to rest her head on Olaf’s shoulder. He was glad that his hands were cuffed, because it forced him to resist the urge to put his arm around her shoulder. He knew Kit didn’t think of him that way and that she saw him as her best friend and nothing more. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin their friendship. So he told himself she only saw him as another brother and that was all she would ever see him as. 

After nearly half an hour, the officers came back to the car and opened the rear doors. Kit jolted awake when the doors were snatched open. The officers removed the handcuffs; Olaf rubbed his wrist as the officer addressed him.

“Okay, boy, we’re going to take you two back to town. Young lady, you can call your parents from the station and have them pick you up. But you, young man… You’re looking at charges of motor vehicle larceny and possibly breaking and entering. My man back at the station has confirmed the car is registered to Count Crivelli and he knows with certainty the Count keeps it locked in a private garage.”

Olaf felt nauseous. They were about to charge him with a felony and tow his father’s precious car. Now on top of worrying about Mr. Snicket’s fury, he had to worry about his own father’s. This night had not gone how Olaf had planned. Olaf’s usual cocky demeanor started to crumble. He felt dizzy and he had to take several long, slow breaths to steady himself.  

Kit glanced over at Olaf. She'd never seen him lose his composure before. She rounded on the officer, her eyes narrowed with malice. “Does that make you feel big and powerful? Threatening to ruin someone’s life for taking his father’s car out for a joyride? He’s seventeen. Don’t tell me you were the poster boy of obedience when you were that age. You are blowing this way out of proportion and you should be ashamed of yourself! And considering _who he is_ , you should have some respect and stop calling him 'boy'!”

Olaf looked at Kit with admiration and appreciation. The officer had the decency to look sheepish.

“This is your father’s car?” 

“Yes,” Olaf said, staring at the ground.

“You’re Viscount Crivelli?”

“Yes,” Olaf said again.

“Shit, Mullins,” the other officer chimed in. “Forget the car. If the Commissioner hears we arrested the Count’s son, he’ll have both our jobs.”

"He doesn't get a pass just because of who his father is."

"If you want to flush your career down the commode, be my guest. I'm not arresting the goddamn Viscount for taking his dad's car out for a joyride."

The sallow-faced officer, Mullins, considered for a moment. “Ok boy...er… Viscount. We’ll take you two back to the station and arrange to have the car towed back.”

“Sir, please. My father will murder me if that car gets towed. Please just let me drive it back. You can follow us if you have to.”

Mullins rubbed his forehead. His partner stroked his mustache and said, “C’mon, Earl. Just let the kids go.”

The tall, sallow-skinned officer threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine. Get out of here. But if I catch either of you two kids out here again, your asses are going to the pokey. I don't care who's kids you are. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” Olaf sneered while Kit nodded silently.

The officers returned to their patrol car, switched off the blue lights, and drove away. Olaf sighed with relief whereas Kit made a rude hand gesture toward the police car shrinking in the distance. Olaf shook his head with amused disbelief.

“Come on,” he told her. “Maybe I can get you home before you father finds out about any of this.”

“Screw my father,” Kit huffed, obviously still riled up from the experience.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” Olaf replied.

Kit snorted in amusement. She opened the passenger door of the Corvette and slid inside. Olaf got into the driver’s side, started the engine with a roar, and steered back toward the road.

“Well, this was quite the adventure,” Kit commented. “What do you have planned for next weekend?”

“Honestly, I don’t know how I could top this,” Olaf admitted.

Kit smiled. “Yeah, once you get arrested, the excitement is pretty much tapped out.”

“Jesus, Kit. We did _not_ get arrested!”

“Close enough,” Kit mused.

Olaf remained quiet for a few moments, lost in thought.

“Well, I’ll say this,” Kit declared. “This is a night I’ll probably always remember.”

“Yeah," he agreed with a soft chuckle, "me too.” Olaf knew with certainty he would never forget that hot, August night when he fell in love in the back of a cop car.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this story came to me when I heard Keith Urban's "Cop Car" on the radio. I was also inspired by a scene from the Mandy Moore movie "How to Deal."


End file.
